Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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