god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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