There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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