We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
