Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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