I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
