is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
