a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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