Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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