Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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