I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
