So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
