We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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