I am puke
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
