Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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