The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
