There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
