Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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