her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
