Are we in a gay sports bar?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
