turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My penis needs a shock collar
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
