New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
