Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize