I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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