You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
there's paper in my vomit.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
