So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
