Me too!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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