Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize