Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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