I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dick very happy bro
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
