it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
