somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
