i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you win again, gameday.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
