How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
