I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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