Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
