Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
PANTIES FOUND
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