i permit you to call me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
