There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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