I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
