Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
