i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize