Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
