at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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