Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
