You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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