Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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