So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
