Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
