I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
