i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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