She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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