woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize