the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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