WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
