She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
