Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
