i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
