i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
