Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
smell my finger.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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