Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
