walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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