They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
