I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
