And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
well you can't waste a boner
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
