I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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