need another drink. this is the easiest way
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
