We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
