Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
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